Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Love hurts..

"Love hurts whether it's right or wrong."

Are Danny and I meant to be together? Is he my Prince Charming? My Mr. Right? Or is he just my Mr. Right Now.

Speaking of, I have never really understood the concept of "Mr. Right Now." What happens if while you're dating Mr. Right Now, you miss out on your Mr. Right?

Anyway, this morning Danny and I got into a pretty big fight.. if you can even call it a fight. Like in the past, Danny just walked away from the situation instead of talking it through. How big was the fight? Big enough to where he said he would pick up his belongings he left at my house.

I thought things would be different this time. And to be honest, they were. I'm surprised Danny put up with me and my insecurities this long. And I'm surprised I put up with him this long again as well. Him never having any money to help around the house. Him wanting more freedom than I trusted to allow him. In the end, I know my trust issues pushed him away. But because of our past, I can't help the way I feel. He always told me that he would stick with me until the end and talk through every fight and understand why I have a hard time believing him.

Well, I think we finally gave up on each other.

One of us is apparently supposed to get ahold of the other when I get done with work tonight. I'm not sure if it's just for him to pick up his things and go or if he wants to talk to me about my feelings and work past this again.

If not, his things are packed up and ready for pick-up.

How do I feel about this? Devastated of course! I love Danny, and I don't want this to end. However, I can't keep taking care of a 23-year-old who seems to enjoy hanging out with his friends more than his girlfriend. I want us to talk through this. On the other hand, I can't be in a relationship if things keep progressing the way they have been. So here's some hypocrisy for you. Yes, I don't completely trust Danny. However, at the same time, I think it would be healthy for our relationship if we each had our own place. So whether or not we work through this, I want him to stay somewhere else. We just rushed into playing house too soon again. I don't know why I let it happen since it didn't work out so good the last time.

As much as I love Danny, I realize that we have many many problems. Maybe too many to work on. Is it better for me to love and let go than let our love get destroyed? Because lately, it feels like I'm more upset in our relationship than happy. I don't want a man to cut my life short. I want to be happy.

Don't get me wrong: Danny makes me happy.. most of the time. I love him, and I know he loves me. But how far does love go?

~Erin Lester

1 comment:

  1. I honestly never thought that living with a significant other was ever a good idea but that all changes when you find the one you love. With you two your relationship is still new and fresh that moving in was way too fast in my opinion. You guys need your space and having your own places does that for you both. If you both want this relationship to work you guys will be ok with having some space and you two will other work hard enough to spend time together. I found out in my last relationship that being together all the time just made things worse. I ended up spending all the time with that person and forgot my friends. I forgot who i was which was the worst part. It was not their fault it was my choice, but sometimes you need to do things to balance your time out. finding a good balance is one of the hardest parts in a relationship. Stay strong Erin. Nobody has all the answers

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