Andrea and I have been in California for five days now, and we are ready to get back home. We are surprisingly using the weekend to relax and get ready for our flight. We packed enough fun and touring during the week that we are fine with just hot tubbing and relaxing for now.
Danny has been texting more. I think he finally realized how upset I am and how ready I am to give up. Although we have been talking, I explained to him that I still don't know what I want when I get back home. Whether I want to work things out or move on. Right now, I want both.
My heart: I love him.
My mind: He needs to grow up a lot if he wants to stay with me.
When I get back, I am going to let him come over to see Bosten and me, but I'm not going to let him stay over. I just want to talk to him at this point, explain to him what I need in order for this relationship to continue. If he can't handle it, than we both will know that it's time for us to just call it quits and try to salvage as much friendship as we can.
He needs to figure out what he wants in life. Does he want to be single and have all the freedom in the world and no one to answer to? No responsibilities? Or does he want a meaningful relationship with a great woman that will treat him good.
Most people just want me to be done with him. Mainly because they only see the person he was, the person who sometimes reappears for a few days sporadically. Getting to know him, hanging out with him and living with him, I know the kind of guy he truly is. The guy he can be completely if he chooses to do so and if he has a good reason to do so. Not to be conceited and pardon my French, but I think I'm a damn good reason!
All in all, I'm very excited to get home. Mainly to get back to work and to see my little Bosten again. I miss him more than Danny surprisingly! It will definitely be nice to get back. And I'm nervous to see what ends up happening with Danny.
Wish me luck!
~Erin Lester
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