Danny and I haven't seen each other in a couple days. He tried calling me once while I was at work, and then I made the mistake (or was it?) of texting him when I got home drunk from the bars. He didn't text me back until the next afternoon wondering why I haven't answered his calls. We continued to text throughout the night. He told me that he misses me and I him so I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie today. We will see if he does. But if he doesn't get ahold of me, I'm not going to text him or make a big deal of it. I'm really going to try to keep it casual.
What's different is that last time I broke up with him, I wouldn't talk to him at all for the first couple months. This time, I'm going to try talking to him and hanging out with him but keeping it platonic. Not sure if that will make things easier or harder. I know he and I aren't ready to be in a relationship together, but I still want us to be friends because we do love each other.
I want to show people that things didn't end catastrophically this time. That he didn't do anything to hurt me; he just wasn't willing to completely commit to me. He still wanted some freedom. Many people are extremely happy that he and I aren't together, but I'm not. I love him and I miss him and I wish things would have worked out this time because of how much I love him. He's just not ready yet, and he doesn't have to be. He's only 23 years old. On the other hand, I'm ready. I'm 25 and I want to start a family soon. I can't wait forever for someone. But if when he's ready, I'm still single, I will think about things again. Thing is, this time I need to know for sure that he's ready. That he won't relapse again.
~Erin Lester
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