Trusting has never come easy for me. Like others, I have been betrayed, even by my closest friends, people I never thought would even think to hurt me. With men, it's even harder. It doesn't matter how smart, how charming, how sweet. For some reason, I have a hard time letting myself truly trust a man (who isn't my dad or brothers). I have a hard time completely giving myself to a man. Which is why I think I haven't had a relationship last longer than two months, apart from my current relationship of course.
I don't know why, but Danny is the first guy I have ever tried to trust. The first guy I have tried to completely forget my inhibitions for so I can move past my two-month curse and lose myself in love.
One thing wrong with that. By losing myself in love, I put myself in pain's path. By giving someone all of me, there is a bigger chance, a higher risk of getting hurt.
I have been cheated on.
He understands the mistake he made, and he realizes the consequence is losing me. He almost lost me for good, but I believe in second chances. I believe he truly does love me. I have faith that he can be a good person. And I understand that it's harder for him considering his past life and his childhood upbringing.
He had to grow up too fast. He never had the opportunity to just be a kid. But it's time for him to grow up. It's time for him to have a good life, a secure future.
I want to give him that future. But after what he and I have already been through, I have a hard time trusting him. He understands, and he puts up with it, and we talk through it. Every time. Communication was never our strong point prior to our four-month breakup. He has definitely taken more action this round to make things work. But we still have our problems.
Will we ever get through this? Will I ever trust him again?
~Erin Lester
No comments:
Post a Comment