Everyone suffers from hardships. Everyone deals with pain. But does getting through this pain really make me stronger? Or am I still weak and just get lucky?
Most people know me as the happy-go-lucky, always-smiling Erin. Not too many people know the other side of me.. because I choose not to show it to them. Partly because I feel weak. And partly because I feel guilty. Guilty because I have a pretty great life. I have a family that cares about me, several great friends, a boyfriend. I have a roof over my head, food in the pantry, a car that gets me anywhere and nowhere, depending on if I want people to find me. I have a college degree, a steady income, a good amount of savings. I have faith, a conscious. What should I be complaining about?
Something that most people don't know is that, even with all these things, there are problems that lie beneath the surface. Sure, I have a job that I love. But I have a college degree and thousands of dollars of student loans to pay off, and I have a job that doesn't even require a college education.
I have a boyfriend, and am in love, but I still have trust issues.
I'm in the best shape since college, but I'm still not satisfied. I know I have a decent body, but I still critique myself and push myself to lose more, to look better.
I have many friends, but most of them live far away, and I only see the ones that live closeby when they're in the mood to get drunk. To me, that's not much of a friendship. What makes it worse is my boyfriend has several friends in town. Although I have family, friends and a boyfriend, I still get lonely.
Both of my best friends from high school are pregnant with their second baby, and I don't even have a stable relationship yet. Most of my other friends are either engaged, married or also with children. I'm 25 years old and not getting any younger. In one of my classes I had to make a list of things I wanted to have accomplished when I turned 25; marriage and children were among the others. I feel so far behind. I feel like a disappointment. I feel like a failure.
How do I get through it?
I believe that God wants me to be happy. He wants me to have a fulfilled life. Maybe I'm just not ready for it yet. Maybe I have to conquer more pain. Maybe my story is just beginning.
~Erin Lester
Life definatly throws you more than a person thinks they can handle. It is the people that can handle the hard times and that can pull through and succeed that are put through these obstacles. God would never give us more than we could handle. He knows our limitations and our strengths. It is the strong ones that no matter what is thrown at them they make every moment matter. We focus too much on the bad in things and not enough on the good. It is easier said then done but everything you go through in life you will get through. You are one of the strongest people I have met and having you in my life has made me a stronger person and i thank you for that. This is just the beginning chapter of your book...you have many more pages to write on :)
ReplyDeleteI love you Mader